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Living Abroad: Thirty Years in Italy

Observations from a distance of 30 years

By Anne Zimmerman


There’s been a lot written lately on the subject of living abroad. Some people are only fantasizing. Some are more actively involved in considering the possibility. If you are even mildly contemplating it, there are a few things you might want to take into account.


Of course, I speak from my experience living in Italy for 30 years. I didn’t’ plan it. I fell in love and stayed. But over the years I have learned some lessons. So here, for what they are worth, are some observations.


First and foremost, you must either speak the language before moving or immediately start learning it upon making your decision to relocate. It is disrespectful and impractical to live in a country where you cannot communicate.  In most places, including Italy, if you even make the effort you are rewarded with encouragement, sympathy and humor. My husband Carlo taught me Italian after we spoke primarily French for two years. Locals had begun to get irritated with me, and I got the message! Of course, he delighted in teaching me inappropriate words and phrases—that he called, when I discovered they were so, “simpatico!” and that led to some embarrassing moments and as well as great merriment. 

Your primary job in your new home will be to integrate yourself into the local culture. I have never understood why anyone would move to a foreign country and seek out the company of ex-pats. Do I know some Americans here in Italy? Of course, whom I met after some years living here. But you learn about your new home through the eyes of its people, through local customs, through local cuisine, through local celebrations, through lively discussions with your neighbors of the latest local news. There is of course room for friends of every nationality and persuasion. But don’t handicap yourself immediately by sticking to what you know. Be open to your new home, to new people, and to new experiences.

When you go shopping, do not expect to find the same articles in stores that you found “back home.” In Italy it used to be impossible to find liquid vanilla extract (I make my own with vanilla beans and rum), peanut butter (now available but in limited variety), sweet corn, brown sugar, or bagels (now findable in Florence, but…). It’s still impossible, or nearly so, to find baking powder as sold in the US (it’s sold in little packets and isn’t exactly the same) or corn syrup or fresh cilantro. Instead of those ingredients you will find ways to adapt your recipes. Or better yet, you will learn to cook local recipes, adapting to the local palate and culinary customs. Until recently it was also impossible to find pre-prepared foods here. They have begun to spring up around Italy, but no self-respecting housewife uses them. They cook from scratch, every day.


One of my favorite memories of my early time in Italy was cooking with a local farmer’s wife Ada who taught me how to make tortelli mugellane -- tortelli with potato filling and served usually with a ragu sauce, a local specialty in Mugello. With me struggling with the language, we made the potato stuffing, rolled out the pasta, and cut and patted the little packets together happily, then made the ragu, all done in gales of laughter and many missteps in Italian that made the gales of laughter even more uproarious. It was an insight into a way of life that was invaluable. It was also an introduction to “Tuscan contadino (farmer) humor” as her husband Turello chimed in from time to time. Ada was always my source for Tuscan recipes—like ribollita and pollo alla cacciatore—and their home was both a refuge for laughter and companionship.

You will find that everyone wants you to explain this or that news coming out of the US. I usually deflect the conversation as it is impossible to “translate” American culture in a brief discussion, in the same way that it is to translate Italian culture when I visit the States. I also learned to listen and not hold forth on local issues too quickly. There is much to be learned and understood in a culture before you pass judgment or criticize.


A further word on expectations: In Italy, at the very least, do not expect either logic or organization. You will be constantly frustrated. But what you will find is a level of amazing, astonishing creativity that you could never have believed could invade every aspect of your life. It (usually) more than makes up for the long lines, the chaos, the lack of easily understood directions, or the complete absence of logic.


Integrating yourself into a culture and a community requires active participation. And curiosity. And a willingness to put yourself out there. Otherwise you may find yourself on the outside looking in and constantly comparing your today with your yesterdays. You need to accept your new location as home. It is counterproductive to constantly think of “back home.”


There are plenty of trade-offs for choosing any new location, but on the whole, I have found that life abroad, and particularly here in Italy, is good. And the perspective you gain on your nation of origin is healthy and often quite astonishing. The experience certainly broadens your horizons. And keeping in touch is no longer an issue as it was for me 30 years ago. Furthermore, with the onset of COVID-19, remote working has become the rule everywhere, so you can not only keep in touch with friends and family via Internet but also work from home. I have been doing so since 2013.


Do I miss my life in the US? I miss people. Absolutely. But my life in Italy is full and satisfying. I wouldn’t trade the last 30 years for anything on earth. I am here. This is my home.

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